Relief
NOTE: This is a followup post to the last one
On the weekend, I went to a Barney’s weekend away for the 7:15 pm congregation. We went to the Blue Mountains - the same place as last year.
I didn’t tell Zvpuryyr before I left. I didn’t trust her enough. Part of my paranoid heart was still worried that she’d steal everything or she’d bring someone home if she knew I’d be gone for over a day.
I didn’t deliberately choose to ignore her phone calls but turned off my mobile because it was already short of battery power when I left to go and didn’t feel anyone would want to call me anyway or that I’d be able to receive any calls. When I finally turned it on again, I got a bunch of desperate calls and SMSes because she didn’t know where I was… and requests to pick up cigarettes, milk and pide. I was really resentful of this. By trying to show her Christianity in the best light, she has truly recognised and treated me as a clod (read William Blake’s “The Clod and The Pebble“).
Anyway, she was there when I got home on Sunday and said she was worried about me. She was much more upbeat but told me how she was convinced she had a “episode” caused by drinking and had burried her wallet.
I asked her if she was still willing to come to church that night and she said she would because she had promised to, despite how her friends told her not to. After a short nap (during which she went searching for the wallet’s burial place), I drove us to church where I had Creche duty. She wanted to come along to that because she likes children. At this point, I didn’t voice my disapproval of having a nicotine-wreaking, drug-using friend without training or official approval help out - I just wanted to get her there before something put her off track. During the drive, she wanted to stop off at her old home to pick up something but I refused because I thought it would just cause us to get to Creche late.
At Creche, she was going to be allowed to help out because she was with me then I expressed that she wasn’t a recognised helper and that solved the problem. She was very understanding and said she’d just visit a friend on King Street and asked me to call her when to return for the 7:15 service. I said she should just get back at 7 pm.
After Creche, I realised that I had left my mobile phone at home accidentally and that she was probably the type of person who’d expect the phone call. I drove home and called her.
Well, she did come to the service and we only missed the opening two songs. Unexpected things happened during the service. I was surprised that she did everything the congregation did except sing. That included reading one of the creeds and saying various prayers including the Lord’s Prayer and a prayer of repentence. The sermon was really good but a little long. One of the sections of the sermon asked three challenging questions:
- Do you acknowledge that Jesus is the son of God?
- Do you acknowledge that God is in charge of your life?
- Do you love your neighbour as yourself?
I felt that first question was an excellent starting point for her spiritual journey to the truth.
Afterwards, she seemed to want to go home but I suggested we go for coffee downstairs - she said she’d go for a smoke outside. I asked her what she thought of the sermon and didn’t have much to say.
She seemed to have disappeared for a while while I tried to gather people for post-service pizza. It’s a pity because I asked Malcolm if he’d have time to talk to her but couldn’t find her. Eventually I just called her and she was talking to a friend who we both know from UTS and that we had bumped into on Wednesday night when I escorted her to Dominos Pizza.
Six of other regular congregation members, including the friend from UTS, came for pizza. Most of us didn’t even eat! She inquired about side dishes that went with pizza and seemed keen on having a bread side dish. I had forgotten my promise of paying for her share of pizza and thought she’d be happy with the bread and got annoyed when she ate some of the prawn pizza. Prawn pizza was so yummy.
Three of the friends left, the one from UTS decided to walk home and I offered to drive everyone else home. During the walk to the car, B and L started discussing the sermon. I sensed she was being left out a bit. I’m kind of (arrogantly) impressed with myself: I asked her what she thought about the sermon in front of the others and L, who is excellent at talking to people, because interested in her thoughts. She said that she kind of tuned out at various stages but that it’ll come back to her and she’ll think about it then.
I drove everyone home safely. 
A lot of things annoyed me about the experience. My main complaint was just not being able to come home and just relax. I wasn’t good at evangelising to her either. There were other minor things such as her taking things without permissions: mainly food and $2 of money that I need for laundry and drinking my entire supply of coffee.
I think all I can do now is pray.
If she were to ask me to stay again, I probably would say “no” or say “yes” but not give her my keys.
